Slow and Steady

Slow and steady, even during commuting hours in my Dad's driveway.

Nature, whether you are watching or not

I haven't been been able to sketch during the last few days. I've picked up the tools but it just isn't in me. Today I marveled at the natural stories and jests that happen in nature whether I'm able to capture them or not. A hummingbird in a thrift re-store warehouse. He comes every year about this time the salespeople told me. As I was at the register I pointed out that even though the doors are all open, he keeps flying to the large vases of silk flowers... Maybe they should put them outside? It was a relief to see when I was backing out of my parking space they had done just that. He was a large ruby-throated beast, I'm sure he'll figure it out.

Back to my Dad's place, sitting in the sun. There's a bird, not a robin, watching me from a dead tree. I guess it's a flycatcher the way it hovers over the grass. I watch it zoom towards a butterfly feeding, in the next moment watch the butterfly chasing the bird around the side of the house. Aggressive butterflies?! The butterfly returned shortly, but I haven't seen the bird back yet.

A hawk flies over, a small bird nipping at it's wing. No screams, no aerial acrobatics, just smooth circles with a tiny nemesis poking at it.

It's all out there, I love it when I happen to see it.

Tenacity

For the last week or so there has been a pretty intense challenge each day. I am a worrier, planner, and over-thinker... and when things don't fall into place the way I think they should, well,  I can become pretty unglued. I try and re-ground myself every day... some days better than others... BUT finally! Our darling deranged hummingbird reappeared! On a day that I really needed my spirit lifted.

And then the next day I watched the ants trooping down the rope, over the knot, and getting stymied by the hook and water in the reservoir. Up and down, getting more manic, and then finally they seemed to agree it wasn't worth it and marched home. Except one. There was one tenacious ant, who carefully looked things over, tested it's balance, and didn't give up. In fact, I left before it did, so I'm not sure how long it tried. It was a good Muse. I wish I could find it again in the midst of all the ants scurrying around our stoop.

Sometimes it's all you can do

What's outside the box?

A friend posted on her blog today about getting outside the box... outside her comfort zone... and I had to draw this...

Paying Attention

On my drive into the office this morning I had a random encounter with two critters -- a groundhog and a pileated woodpecker. Both of them seemed to be just waiting for me to go by, to give me a little wave (or maybe shake their... wing? paw? at me...) Their messages seem to be good ones to pay attention to right now...

Being Awkward

I know people who have panic attacks and true social anxiety. I'm fortunate enough that I don't. I have just enough anxiety to make me worry about absolutely every detail, and enough self-awareness that I feel (and act) incredible awkward in new places or with new people. A previous employer told me that my interview was one of the worst he had ever seen. He hired me anyway, based on my references, and it was a year before he told me how awful I had been — after he realized that I wasn't a complete fruitcake.

What bothers me the most these days is that I miss out on events that I think I would really enjoy because I completely psyche myself out of going. Or, if I do go, I have second, third, and fourth thoughts about it and present myself like babbling idiot. Or stand-offish. And I know I am doing it and am helpless to stop it.

So, bear with me if you invite me to something and I don't show up, or maybe worse, I do show up and immediately lurk in a corner making awkward eye contact with people walking by.

It's still raining...

Even the spiders are getting sick of the rain. By the time the sun comes out again we'll be living in a jungle.

Waiting... patiently... sort of...

I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of our Deranged Hummingbird and his cohorts. I've already made one batch of food, and 3 or 4 days later had to refresh it because the ants clogged it up. I feel like having hummingbirds zipping around is a sign that summer is really here.

Everyone is a Critic

The sun was finally out this past Sunday and I tried to get a whole month of gardening and yard work done in one day! Plus take some photos to use for motivation on days when I went to sit and do art...

Another Overcast Spring Day

It's still grey and cloudy here in Vermont. The Earnest Earworm is leading the group in serenading the daffodils.

Insect Alphabet... picking it up again

This is Q for Question Mark -- it's a butterfly! There's one named Comma as well! Who knew? Not me! Thanks for the suggestion in the comments. I think I still need to upload O is for Owlfly, and P is for Praying Mantis? But when I reach the end I'll scan these at a better quality and put them all together and see what happens...

It's finally happening...

The first of our summer guests showed up today...

Happy Easter!

The lesser known Easter Ant, who rolls jelly beans into our homes for Easter morning.

And then Spring Arrived

Uncoordinated Mourning Dove

It felt like Spring both yesterday and today, sunshine and rain! Hooray! My work load has started to shift and balance out, which is giving me a little flexibility in balancing out the rest of my life. I feel like I have been running flat out for a while now, and today finally seemed... manageable. It's a good feeling. My home office window faces the woods, and usually there isn't much bird activity since our feeders are all in the front yard. I was happily working and suddenly there was something flapping in my window! A morning dove hovered outside (well, hovered is a generous way to put it. There was lots of flapping and it sort of stayed within the same 2 foot area. I think Mourning Doves aren't exactly coordinated. Or maybe it's just the ones that hang out here. Uncoordinated Mourning Dove would be a great character to illustrate.)

Wow. Did I digress there or what?

Anyway, this dove just flapped around for a bit, looking right at me, and then circled around the house. Then I noticed a second one in a nearby tree and THAT one flew over and did the same thing! Neither hit the window, they both just seemed to be peeking in at me.

Because I take everything as "a sign" (EVERY-thing) (yes, it can be annoying) I looked up doves. Dove is linked with Heart Chakra, so, hey, why not, I'll work with that! Tonight after work I sat for a while and painted up my own little mourning dove. She looks like she's willing to keep an eye on me for a while.

In other local bird news, all this rain is creating a muddy mess in the yard, with flooding on the way. The robins are straggling in (although I've read some overwinter? Hello, climate change.) and they were looking particularly fed up with the goopy lawn.

I'll get back to my insect alphabet at some point. I was stuck on "Q" and it seems it will be a Queen-something since I can't find anyone that starts with "Q"... any hints?

More winter and life isn't slowing down

There's another storm on the way, my planner is full of deadlines, and life is busy. I'd be stressed (well, I am a little) but all it takes is reading the news and I realize how blessed my life is. I'll handle it just fine. Although I'm really looking forward to the time when I don't see snow in the forecast.

Reflecting

My favorite quote about the death of a loved one: “It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things.” ― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

Some people are in your life for a relatively brief time, and you can only reflect on it and know that you both gave comfort and support and friendship and came into each others lives at the right moment. Two years ago my dear friend passed away. We had only been close friends for about 2 years previous, and we both wondered why we hadn't spent more time together. Laughingly, but truthfully, it was because I was her dog-sitter, so I knew her dogs quite well... but her? Not so much. Our loss.

My gain? Custody of her little dog. He's 17 now, and has surprised all of us with his tenacity. He's determined to outlive all of us.

She would have enjoyed watching me learn to paint again, and would have rolled her eyes at some of my cartoony illustrations. Actually, if you believe in such things, she is probably rolling her eyes right now.

I hope everyone has a someone like her in their lifetime. Travel light, my friend, as always.

Stella is still here...

... So is Gertrude, but our little turkey isn't faring well... These photos were taken throughout the day, between work and shoveling and trying to clear a path for a certain little poodle to do his business...

The last photo was around 6:00. At that point we tackled plowing, car moving, getting the ATV stuck and unstuck, slipping and thinking I lost my keys in a snow bank, all that happy snow removal stuff. At this rate we'll be on repeat tomorrow.

In the midst of all that, dreaming about far away (and warm and sunny) kingdoms,  N is for Nut Weevil showed up, they are cute little fellas, although I suspect they are pretty destructive?

Stella vs Gertrude

Winter Storm Stella is upon us. It's about 9:30 a.m. and the flakes started falling about an hour ago. Storm prep started yesterday and ended this morning with a final load of wood coming in the house, the bird feeders topped off, car moved to a strategic spot in the driveway (in other words, out of the way of the first and second anticipated plowing, especially since I got the car stuck trying to move it in one of our recent storms. Oops.)... This is Gertrude the Third, our decoy turkey. The first two turkeys succumbed over the past  years to high wind, but G the 3rd is standing strong so far, and we've had some wicked gusts this year. You can only explain to your neighbor so many times that you are poking around the ditch looking for your turkey that blew away before you decide it's time to lock this stuff down.

She's about 20 inches tall at the top of her head. We'll see if the forecasters were right about the amount of snow we are going to get...

Also M is for Millipede! How could I forget! We had a plague of these a few years ago. Very disturbing. I didn't quite understand how all their segments worked, so this came out a little wonky... I'll give him a shot again at some point  :-)