Socks

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Current events aside, I’ve had some underlying stress percolating in my head during the last 4-5 days. I thought I was handling it fine, compartmentalizing with the best of them. Then today, while at the laundromat, I was sorting socks… ones that can go in the dryer and ones that can’t (yes, I am that sort of person) and making sure that they each had a mate.

Some didn’t. I started rummaging through the laundry basket. Double-checking the washer. Glancing at the floor to see if I dropped any. Going out to the car wondering if I lost some in there. The whole time my chest was getting tighter and tighter. One last time digging through the pile of damp clothes and I realized how ridiculous this was. The socks didn’t matter. (Okay, well, they DO matter. I am a sock person.) But they are definitely not worth feeling this flustered and dizzy about.

A good reminder that all the energy I am putting into Not Thinking About Big Stress Right Now is still energy that is being used, which lessens my ability to cope with everyday stress. When I am troubled and anxious, I feel defensive and hostile and more vulnerable to things that mean so little. I space out, disconnect, and say ugly little things.

Overall, I’d say that all is well. But this was a good reminder of the toll that underlying stress can take on oneself. Take care, everyone.