Fox Dreams of Starry Skies

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I usually avoid drawing foxes, I think I have done only one or two… but today I finally set up my art desk and took a deep breath and thought about what to draw and now I have this fella and another one drying… looks like Fox decided the timing was right…

Home

apartment

I’ve always been good at settling into new environments, maybe because of visiting family a lot as a kid, then moving often as an adult… and I was a natural when taking on multiple weeks of house and pet-sitting… I can set up the basics pretty quickly, and stake a claim, I can sleep peacefully pretty much anywhere.

So, while I’m settling in, the past two weeks though have been a challenge. There’s been an emotional break from my old home: a place and a person… a professional break from the office I used to keep in town… mental juggling of what will fit in my new apartment and what will go into storage…. I’m trying to make conscious choices about what my new Home will contain, nothing that makes me feel guilty… nothing that drains me…. nothing that no longer fits (goodbye pretty dress that I have NEVER worn in public and never will!)… and personally, figuring out Who Lives In This Home.  I know it’s still me, but it’s a version of me that I think I have only just gotten comfortable being. I’m excited to be her.

I treasure each of the gifts that are filling my space, these are in the nooks and crannies, amid boxes and chaos, reminding me to smile.

 

Morning Sketch… with Pear…

pear

This morning was the first time I sat outside with my sketchbook. I had a pear from a friend and sat on the porch sharing it and thanking my Muses for traveling with me. It felt like a long time since I had picked up the pencil to draw, and last night I actually had a moment of “what if I can’t do it any more”… it’s funny how that self-doubt creeps in.

I’m still unpacking, and am swamped with with work projects, but the sun is shining and I am feeling more settled. I’ve met the local hummingbirds, cardinals, and a woodchuck that reminded me of the White Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland. I was taken on hiking trails a few minutes up the road, one has Tiny Free Library just off the path! I almost have my post office combination memorized, and already have 5 books on loan from the library.

Wishing you all of you a day with some joy and light… I found mine already this morning.

pear-sketch

 

Things I bring with me

move

Now that I’ve moved, I notice what has always moved.

The monkey. The desk. The coat rack.

The antique cinnamon-sugar shaker. The cutting board. The rusty knife.

A photo of 3 generations, laughing. More recently, a  painting of a dog.

The blanket chest. The war chest. The awkward dresser.

And me.

Things I have left behind

left

Over the years of break-ups and moving ons, I have left behind cracked bowls. Holey jeans. Single socks.

I have left dust bunnies. Stale popcorn. Freezer burned ice cream.

I’ve left behind unloved art. Boring books. Stained pillows.

I have left treasured plants. Generations of chipmunks. Rocks with stories.

Broken hearts. Questions unanswered. Faith. I’ve left those behind as well.

I somehow never leave behind the guilt, the worry, the “what-if.” I carefully package the “it’s my fault” along with flower vases.  The “I’m sorry” tucked in with the wine glasses. The “I’ll be fine” rides along in the passenger seat.

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Everything is okay, but I am moving, to a different town, about a half an hour from where I am now. Each time I have moved, whether with a partner or without, that sense of upheaval takes it’s toll. I’m excited about what’s ahead of me, and yes, eager to unpack art supplies, but there’s always so many things left behind…

Gone Fishin’

…not really, but you may have noticed I have been absent from here… and will be for a while longer… New adventures and new sketches in a few weeks <fingers crossed>…

gone-fishing